I know that it is a little bit of cliche to write about “pet peeves” on blogs, but you know what – suck it, it’s my blog and I can write about whatever I want. Plus, you know who reads this thing? My mom. And my dad. And probably Blake (we aren’t completely sure about that, but I am pretty sure. At least he CLAIMS he reads it.)
Anyways. NEW blog series (again, the first and potentially only entry, but whatever. I am calling it a series.)
SO. You know, you can’t go through life without having some random things that bug. I don’t know if my list is longer or tinier than most people, but I really love to tell people about them. But why blow my blog topic wad in one post when I could keep the suspense completely AMPED up for multiple entries? Exactly.
Pet Peeve – Number One – Lead Singers Who Don’t Play an Instrument
I often comment on just HOW awkward I find lead singers when they don’t play an instrument. I mean, it makes me cringe. The awkward swaying. The weird microphone grabbing. The uncomfortable “dancing” during extended music breaks. I can’t stand it. Unless you are a “pop” singer, doing “poppy” choreography, PLEASE LEARN AN INSTRUMENT. The triangle will do. Just have something in your hands so that you don’t end up looking like this:
I KNOW I KNOW. It’s Mick Jagger. IT IS MICK JAGGER, Kristi. But come on. That is not what I would call “sexy.” It is certainly what I would call “mostly goofy.” Even singers that I find completely attractive, like Eddie Vedder (SHUT UP, HE IS) look like they are searching for something to do. Like the actual thought, “Crap! I’ve head banged, I’ve swayed, I’ve stood next to the bass player. Now what do I do? WRAP IT UP GUYS,” is racing through his head during the entire time. Eddie (yes, we are on a first name basis) tries to cover for his complete LOSS of what exactly he should be doing by making a variety of noises. BUT IT IS STILL SO AWKWARD. Observe (go to the time marker 4:41 to really see some noise making in action):
I mean, really? Weird moaning? If he had, I don’t know, a tambourine or something, it would all be SO LESS AWKWARD. He could just bang on a tambourine the whole time, and the collective world’s audience would breathe a sigh of relief. It would be amazing.