Chopper Continues to Pee on Blake

The number of times that Chopper has peed on Blake – upgraded to three.  That’s right.  Chopper pee-attacked Blake.  Again.  Third time.

Chopper Loves to Pee on Blake

Welp, Chopper peed on Blake last night.  Twice.  And you know what?  Chopper doesn’t have normal 8 pound dog size pees.  He pees small lakes. 

The first Chopper Pee Attack was due to Chopper’s hilarious inability to walk away from anyone petting him ever.  Chopper loves being pet more than anything else in the world, and I am convinced that he would starve to death rather than move away from someone who was touching him in order to eat.  Blake and I have even tested to see how little actual “touching” we could get away with and still watch Chopper move from normal hyper little Chihuahua to zen-like state of relaxation Chihuahua.  The answer?  You merely need to hover your hand over his little fur at a distance of approximately 2 centimeters, and he will lay perfectly still, in dog heaven.  It’s actually a game we play when we are bored (that makes us sound lame, I know).    

So, Blake was petting Chopper, and Chopper was sitting on Blake’s lap in some sort of dog bliss, when I guess the urge to pee came over him.  READ MORE

My Dogs Hate Me and My Sleep

For anyone who doesn’t know, I have two dogs.  Two very small dogs.  They are the type of dogs that really say something (uncool) about the person who owns them.  I am hyper aware of this fact, so usually when people ask me what kind of dogs I have, I end up sounding something like this:  “I live in an apartment so the dogs have to be small and oh yeah, I adopted one of them, and please don’t judge me I am not “that” girl, Ihaveayorkieandchihuahua.”  Porky the Yorkie and Chopper the Chihuahua, specifically.  Collectively, they are known as the Pork Chop.

Now, listen.  I love these dogs.  I am sure that future blog posts will be full of how funny it was when Chopper…I don’t know…did something funny.  Or how adorable Porky is when she adorabled around.

However.

I am currently under the impression that these two little dogs were put on this planet and subsequently under my care as some sort of huge cosmic plan to make sure I never get enough sleep.  You might be wondering, “How do two little dogs conspire to make sure Kristi always is awake before 7:30!?!  That is crazy talk!”  Let me explain about my last few mornings…

So there I am.  Peacefully sleeping and dreaming about nothing in particular, when I am rudely awakened by a little Yorkie scratching the pillow next to my head.  As usual, this is the signal that Porky wants to get up and go to the bathroom.  Also as usual, I ignore her.  She then ups the ante, moving her scratching from beside my head to scratching IN MY HAIR.  This hurts, so I normally like to move to the far end of the bed, away from her.  She is relentless, so she simply walks over to where I am now sleeping, and resumes scratching my hair like she is digging her way THROUGH my hair AND the bed to the floor below.  Normally this is where I have a thought something like this, “Maybe if I can somehow get her interested and digging her way through Blake’s hair, she will leave me alone and HE will wake up and take the dogs out.”  This NEVER happens.  Blake can snore his way through a million READ MORE